The Best Of Me Official Trailer #1 (2014) - James Marsden Movie HD
My mom tells me every day how I’m throwing my life away. How I’m gonna amount to nothing. And all I can think about when she says this is my dad. I want my dad back. She makes me feel like I’m ugly and worthless. If my dad was still alive he’d think I was perfection. He’d always tell me how beautiful I am and how just because I messed up once doesn’t mean I’m not going anywhere.
cuddlin time during those tornados
I can not believe that in 4 months 1 week and 6 days this sweet little boy will be 3! It breaks my heart we have missed all of this time with him. </3
Look at those cute little hands, sweet chubby cheeks. I bet he is so big and so smart just like his mommy. Look at this beautiful girl we have missed out on. I have been with her dad since she was 4. We so wanted her in our lives. Everytime we moved we would make sure there was an extra room for whenever God decided was the right time to bring her back to us. It will be 6 years since he started re-paying child support and we can still feel the excitement we had just having a small chance to meet her. Then when she called him out of the blue wanting to meet him I thought we’d died and gone to heaven. When she said she wanted to meet her sisters and brothers, now that was the best day ever! I wanted to hug that girl like she was still 4 years old! She’s not even my blood really….we share this amazing man that she has for a daddy, we share 2 girls and 2 boys that she has as sisters and brothers and we share a last name. We have shared very little in this lifetime but really she’s had my heart since I knew she existed. Maybe that kind of freaks her out because she just couldn’t imagine feeling that way. But I mean, when she finds the right guy, doesn’t she want him to love Little Mr. E like that? Doesn’t she want someone who will claim him as his own to whomever he meets? I have a stepdaughter, which if she had grown up knowing us I would never call her that unless she absolutely wanted me too. Do you see this beautiful young woman in this picture? She’s my daughter, she is the very first little baby my husband ever helped create; she is this amazing person that you will ever meet. I have only gotten to know a small part of her, the small part she shows in her blog but what I have seen is she is this amazing spirit with a huge heart afraid of being broken. She is this amazingly clever girl, she is brave and mature beyond her years. This girl who will be turning 21 on March 15, 2015, she has more potential than anyone has ever given her credit for. God has so much in store for this daughter of ours and this grandson or ours! I know, and I believe that one day all the pain that she has felt in her life, all the pain that her daddy has felt from missing her each day of her life, the pain that her sisters, brothers, nana and I have felt missing her and little Mr. E…..one day God will make all of that worth it and it will be AMAZING. Everyday I pray for them both….everyday I put it in God’s hands. I still feel she belongs here and I will always make sure we have room enough that if she ever decides to come see us or decides Blount County just really has nothing to offer anymore….we will be here. She will always have room here. I hope and pray that she will realize one day that she CAN trust God with her life, she can trust HIM to provide when she doesn’t see any provisions. He knows what He is doing. He knew what He was doing 3 years ago when He tugged on her heart to come here….she just got scared and confused and that’s ok….but He will put this path in front of her again. He will “break her heart for what breaks His” He’s not done with healing this family, not by a long shot. And that thrills me to no extent. <3
Loving and thinking of them always
The Best First Date
The sweetest video you will ever watch. This literally brought tears to my eyes. I’m so grateful for my special time with my Dad on weekends. We make it a priority to get coffee and catch up. My future husband has big shoes to fill.
Kayla Justinn Howard~ I hate that you only got to experience about a year of this. I hate that these kinds of experiences were taken from you. I understand that your mom thought she was protecting you but unfortunately by protecting you she deprived your daddy and you of the relationship you both deserved. Kayla. I don’t blame your mom at all and your dad doesn’t either.but we are supposed to learn from the mistakes of our parents. Learn from the pain you went through not having your dad there. Learn from your mom’s mistake, she is human and so is your dad. They both made mistakes. But God brought you back into your dad’s life so you can both heal and have the relationship He wants you to have. Go with your heart, go with what God tries to show you. That mistakes are made but can always be fixed. I wish for you to know the dad you have and not the dad you have grown to think you have. You have a very smart, sweet, kindhearted, stubborn, silly, hard-working father who cherishes Family above anything else. You are his sweet baby girl that changed his world forever, all you have to do is allow yourself to go forward with caution if you deem necessary and with an open heart and mind. God opens these doors for you and it breaks His heart to see you not go through them. You add trials and heart-break to your life when you refuse to go in the direction He leads you. But, ok, even if you leave God out of it (which we should never do) but IF you did, what are the chances that you would find us after 13 years of us not being able to find you? How many people in this earth have lousy parents who just assume drop them like a bad habit than drop everything to have them back in their lives? This world can totally suck but if we grab a hold of a good thing and hold on tight no matter what anyone else says or thinks then we will be much happier. Grab this chance given to you with both hands and see where it leads you. Bringing God back into the equation, He will not lead you where He can not protect you. He has His arms around you and will not forsake you. He has given you not only your daddy back but also 2 sisters, 2 brothers and a Nana that has missed you since you were 3. He wants to enrich your life all you have to do is embrace it. Kayla, the love we have for you, the love we have for sweet little Elijah Blaine, even though he is going on 3 and has never looked into his grandpa’s eyes or held his hand or met his aunts and uncles, the two of you are more loved than you can imagine and all we ask is for a chance to prove to you who we are. True colors always show through and I promise ours will if you will give us the small chance we’ve wanted for the past 5 1/2 years. We have only just been here for you. you have to make the best of the time God gives you. We never know if our parents will live to be 49 (like my dad) or 109. I don’t want you to be 30 talking to your sisters and brothers about your dad trying to learn who he was because he isn’t here anymore. I don’t want you to miss anymore of each other’s lives. WE LOVE AND MISS YOU AND OUR HEARTS BREAK EVERYDAY WE DON’T GET TO HAVE YOU IN OUR LIVES. Sometimes I wonder if your mom, her gf, their daughter, your other nana and the others that get to see you and talk to you on a regular basis, I wonder if they have any idea how lucky they are to be able to do that. To have the 2 of you in their lives like they do. Do they cherish it the way we would? Do they revel in each moment with you? Do they look at you both and say “Wow, we are blessed to have our sweet Kaykay and Elijah-bug in our lives”? If they knew the pain of not experiencing that then I know they would. If they had missed you both everyday of your lives I know they would. I know God’s timing is always worth it but sometimes the pain is so overwhelming that its hard to imagine the joy overpowering it. I know it will and live for the day it does. So until then Kayla, know you are loved and thought of EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE. always, your loving step-mom. <3
I had a dream about daddy last night. Similar to other dreams I have had before. He shows up unexpectedly at the window. I know its him, he looks almost exactly the same as he did when I was 10. Never mind he would be 72. But I go to run to him crying and screaming daddy but he walks away faster than I can run. I can feel myself crying in my sleep. Its like my whole being misses him so much that I dream of him. Then my subconscious remembers that he’s been dead for 23 years and that is why he leaves and I can’t catch him. I am 36 years old and I still miss my daddy. I had a step-dad since I was 4 and grew to love him but nobody can replace the man who gave you life. Nobody can replace the man who’s genes you carry and pass along to your children. Nobody can replace the man that held you first, loved you first and would have done anything for you. I know I have been blessed to have a man in my life who loves me just as much as daddy did. Its just 13 years with your dad isn’t nearly long enough. There are people out there who don’t know their dad by choice and could care less, but the ones who want the chance don’t get the chance and it makes me so angry and so sad. Everyone deserves to know their daddy. The man he is while he is alive, not the man others think he is, or the man people remember when he is dead and gone, but the man who hugs you tighter than anyone in the world and the man who’s I LOVE YOU means everything. That is the man that every child deserves to get to know. I guess that is why it drives me nuts when people have access to their dad but don’t take hold of them and cherish them. My nephews haven’t seen their dad in 10 years but they are 24 & 25 so they are growing up and reaching out to him finally. That makes me happy for them all. <3 I just hate my dreams. they suck because they bring back the pain. I guess that is why my husband hasn’t slept good since January. He has bad dreams that keep him awake. He actually was there at his daddy’s bedside for the whole week and watched him take his last breath. He says watching his dad die haunts him day and night. I wish I could take that pain from him but I can’t. All I can do is what I have always done, just be here for him, as a wife and best friend through it all. I love this man with everything in me, so if you are reading this really long thing, please pray for him to have peace….<3
I just think sometimes that if Kayla had brought Elijah and Joshua down here then Joshua would have had a better time creating himself, making himself the husband and father he was supposed to be. :(
I wish it had turned out the way it could have. I wish they had come here and lived happily ever after. I truly believe that her happily ever after starts here. I think that every heartbreak and every let down & struggle she encounters is only trying to get her to see where she should be. I do believe though that He is trying to get me and hubby to get our situations better first. So, sometimes I think all the waiting is really due to our procrastination on things…its been a long, long wait and it hurts waiting longer. I know God’s timing will be perfect and when Kayla lets us in she will see it’s perfect too. Heaven knows how painful it has been and is, that’s how I know it will be so very wonderful when it happens because it has to out-do the vastness of the pain….
Grandpa will be there forever on We Heart It.
Everyone deserves a chance, preferably before this point in their lives. A chance to prove who they are. A chance to show the real them instead of a misconstrued version of themselves. Everyone deserves a real chance to show the love they have in their heart, and their worthiness to receive the same love in return.
Sometimes I think that had the 3 of them moved down here like they had planned then everything would have turned out much better. They would have been able to get away from things that pulled them down. He maybe would have been able to change for the better, because her dad would have made sure of it, he’d have jerked a knot in him so to speak. They would have been able to be around people they didn’t know, and let me tell you that can definitely change you for the better. But, I know God allowed her to make the choice she did because she still had things there to learn and experience. I do still believe God had a place in her life for us. Some day soon perhaps. Maybe not until we move into a bigger house. Maybe He has plans to take us back up to Tn, maybe His plans are for them to still come down here (Kayla and Elijah at least). I still think He wants her to experience moving here just because she would gain a bit more independence and self-reliance, even though we would help her every time she asked. There’s lots of kids Elijah’s age at the church and lots of great people there that would also help. I bet if she wanted a great family would rent a room to them or just let them stay with them for free if she didn’t feel comfortable. I feel bad because I am so impatient and have a hard time waiting on God’s time. I just see her and see how much her father’s daughter she is and think they deserve to know each other. I think they deserve a chance to bond. I see little Elijah and he is so much a Howard it isn’t even funny. He is his Grandpa’s Grandson and he reminds me of his uncle Dale when he was little. Makes me wonder how much their personalities are alike. I would think a lot because even though she doesn’t know it, or want to admit it, I think she is more Howard than she wants to see. Yes, she looks quite a lot like her Woolford side, and she knows just what the two of them inherited from them but I wish she would allow herself to find out what they have in common with this side too. We love them so much and pray for the day God will work in her life again to make her want to know us just as much as we do. Always thinking of and loving you both, Kayla Justinn & Elijah Blaine. <3